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KSSSPP PARISH

The origin of the name ‘Kssspp’ is said to derive from the sound of a stone being scraped along another stone then dropping onto a hollow pot. The Parish of Kssspp is Jinsy’s earliest recorded district and once extended right across the midriff of the island, a bit like a woman wearing a very thick belt or girdle. After the woman lost a lot of weight, the parish shrunk to its current size and has remained virtually stable ever since. Although the lower fields, close to The White Apron Playgroup (where Jinsy’s ‘smalls’ are nurtured, shortly after lady-hatch), sometimes swell after particularly big festivals or ‘blow-outs’. Whenever parts of Kssspp balloon out into the parishes of Veen, Nool, West Zententerton or Helleetertrond, all of which surround it in a cluster like big boundary bullies, the slightly more lax attitudes of Kssspp parishioners can legally be adopted by other island residents for the duration of the swelling, and this is just a huge, huge amount of FUN for everyone! Kssspp was the first inhabited area of the island. The first peepul of Jinsy, commonly known as ‘Tangleheads’ or ‘Grunters’ (due to limited hair-maintenance techniques and equally restrictive levels of intellect) built ‘peepul-nests’ out of earth, gravel and wool, in which they could curl up with a ‘bood gook’ (‘Bood Gooks’ were a type of clay warming pot in a lozenge shape that helped keep the nest dwellers warm at night). These nests were the only real thing the ‘Tangleheads’ bothered building until the discovery of the roof tile, which revolutionised the idea of dwellings and led initially to the construction of the early Stone Hairnge, which remains to this day as a chilling remnant of the dim past. Hairnges were early types of salon, where rudimentary ponytails and simple sidepartings were practiced by Style Monks. Kssspp is home to Jinsy’s Old Show. It’s quite a good day out, if you have absolutely nothing else to do and haven’t been recently. Although it never changes. It’s always the same. But it’s quite good, in some ways. If you don’t mind it being the same as last time you went.
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