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BIRTH VEG - CLUPE NUT

‘Nuts’ are fiercely intellectual bores most islanders avoid at pellch and wine evenings or other mingle-type events. You can tell when a ‘nut’ is around just by the glances people are exchanging all round. You don’t want to get stuck in a booth, hut or kiosk with a ‘nut’. They’ll just talk at you about the drivel pump or the theory of psychic-moulding. They have very wrinkly foreheads and fat round the waist. They often have back problems and can end up mirroring the curved shape of the clupe nut itself.

Favourite colours: beige or oatmeal.
Birthgland: the armpit.
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