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HISTROPHY - CONFUSION

CONFUSION

Confusion really started in The Bloom of 1213-hoo-hoo. Records of the time, brought together by historyun Huce Merrinko, show that the confusion started at a high level and only got worse.

In fact, at the beginning of the records, a report even gets the word 'Confusion' confused and describes it as 'cream piping' which led other (less experienced and open-minded) historyuns to wrongly sub-label large parts of the Confusion and invent a whole new segment of island histrophy where incredible, exciting things happened. All of which had to be officially erased from text books, with a lot of mumbled apologies from the Information Board, plus a bit of shoe shuffling and averted glancing. (It was the same thing when they wrongly documented the rise and fall of a tribe of heavily-moustachioed accountants, whose economic grip kept the lower parishes in financial slavery for hundreds of cycles.

Huce Merrinko, who is a well-known cliff-gripper and great fun after a couple of cups of Pellch, laughs as he describes how his researches themselves began, ended and middled in the same kind of horrible Confusions:

"Ha ha ha! Yes, I began rummaging around in a set of dusty old drawers at the back of the Jinsy Institute for Forgotten Details, using my bear hands (I received these fake-fur gloves as a present on my hatchday and I've used them as protective gloves ever since! Ha ha ha!). There was something caught at the back of one particular drawer. I think it was the third drawer down. Or it might have been the fourth. Or the sixth. Ha ha ha! Anyway, I reached as far back as I could, and got one of my gloves stuck in the narrow place at the back of the cabinet. I was caught, bending at an unfortunate angle, and I could feel a chilly draught passing across the upper cleavage at the back of my trousers, just sort of toying with the small hairs at the mouth of the cleft. I was swearing really loudly when Mrs Hurritch, the chief bookarian at the Institute, happened to come in with a laden tea tray. I was using words like K***** and D*******. I think I also made reference to the three Int*******s, which unfortunately struck a chord with Mrs Hurritch, as, unknown to me, she has always been a private sufferer. She took one look at my reverse cleavage, screamed, and dropped the tea tray, splattering the only existing copy of the Jinthy Thenthus', a hugely old, completely priceless illuminated manuscript. Ha ha ha! My hand suddenly came free from the drawer and I propelled backwards at incredible speed, firing Mrs Hurritch across the corridor into the Private Reading Room, along with a lectern. We can laugh about it now. Ha ha ha! Well, I can. Her mouth is still recovering from splinter injuries. But I'm sure eventually she'll laugh too. Anyway, crumpled up at the back of the drawer was a set of notes, describing the entire Confusion period. Although it was incorrectly titled "COSFUNION." Ha ha ha!"

The tangle was eventually unwoven by Fourth Arbiter Jerris, who managed to find one end, then deployed teams to work backwards, simply unpicking it.
"Ha ha ha!"
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